The Best Medicine

Since graduating from college, I have always made a point of having a gay doctor. I recommend it to everyone, especially gays like me. It's easier to talk about sex things with a gay doctor. There's so much less judgment than with a straight doctor — or to be fair, what I perceive to be judgment. It's just easier. Moving to a new city? Make it a first order of business. Library card. Roach traps. Gay doctor.

A gay doctor won't have unfunny and slightly unsettling framed copies of comic strips like one in my otolaryngologist's office in which a doctor stares blankly at a patient in some measure of pain, saying, "It's a good think you're here. I just punctured your eardrum." There's also one with the doctor examining a cow wearing a bell on her collar, saying, "I think I know what's causing the ringing in your ears."

Nope. Won't find these things in a gay doctor's office.

A gay doctor always has good modern art in his waiting room and exam rooms. Oftentimes there are beautiful, ponderous photographs from local photographers. The doctor probably knows the artist, as a friend or as a patient. Many non-gay doctors are content with motel-grade squiggles and geometrical designs on the walls — or worse, they'll hang prints of baby animals or beaches or places they've been skiing. Gay doctors will have vintage posters from local theatrical productions — a 1980 The Pirates of Penzance, for example, or "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" from a reputable children's theater.

A gay doctor has beter magazines, too. He'll eschew Highlights for Children, Time and Reader's Digest in favor of The New Yorker, The Advocate, Architectural Digest.

Oh, a gay doctor's office is a veritable homosexual playground!