Definitely Not a Mets Fan

Jackson Heights, Queens, is one of those neighborhoods — unlike Maspeth or Rego Park, lord knows — that seem to get a lot of media attention. It is a marvelously ethnically diverse place and is often cited for its rich selection of restaurants or the reaction of its citizens to the goings-on of their homelands around the world.

It is also home to the same brand of crazies you find anywhere else in New York. Gothamist reported today on an incident that occurred on the 7 train, which runs right through the neighborhood. A guy in a Yankees shirt pretending to be asleep behind his sunglasses had his pants undone and his junk hanging out, half-concealed by a newspaper, and a woman caught him on her camera phone.

I'd say "I love New York," but there's nothing particularly "New York" about it. Dorks like him live everywhere.

God Shed His Grace on Thee

I love the way Miss Teen South Carolina cleverly satirizes the dire state of American education by acting like an airhead on TV. She demonstrates her answer to the question in the very way she is answering it. Brilliant.

Please watch:

I saw comments on YouTube that defended her, saying she must be under a lot of pressure, and that it is a contest of beauty and not brains. Sorry, kids, but it doesn't take a whole lot of brains to answer a simple question in Standard English — unless you are part of the problem the question is referring to. I think she should have stopped at "some people don't have maps." At least that made sense and was true.

Your SUV sux.

On principle I hate SUVs.

Every time I see a Hummer in New York, even in Queens, I want to find the owner and hit him or her over the head with an iron skillet. With parking at such a premium, what business does anyone have parking a vehicle the size of a Manhattan apartment on a side street? Parking tickets should go up in value the more space the car takes up.

Today I saw a commercial for a Subaru monstrosity called the Tribeca. Tribeca, as in Lower Manhattan. As in short, tight, narrow streets. I hope I'm not the only one who sees the irony in owning a vehicle named after a neighborhood in Manhattan where you'd scarcely be able to park it!

For $30,000, you get a 256 horsepower, six-cylinder engine, symmetrical all-wheel drive, and 247 pounds per foot of torque at 4,400 RPM. I'm sure all of this comes in really handy when you're stuck in bumper-to-bumper city traffic — on totally flat land.

The one in the commercial featured a DVD player, perfect for encouraging your children to shorten their attention spans, keep them from reading books, and help them realize that you'd really not rather talk to them on those tedious drives to school or grandma's — just keep your eyes on the Disney and leave Mommy alone, kiddies! Media over-stimulation while driving is always a good idea. Be sure you bring your cell phones, too.

If you live in the mountains, get a car for the mountains. If you live in the city, get a car for the city. And if you want to have room for your kids, get a bigger car, of course. But for the love of Mike, don't put a living room on the road.

Bad Signs

	The thing is, these guys are probably from somewhere near the Mediterranean Sea.
	Ectetera, ectetera...
	Waithing for a copy editor.
	Walk. Wait, no. Don't walk!

It always makes me wonder why so many small business owners have permanent signs on their businesses with gross spelling and grammar errors.

I remember a place in Minneapolis called "Lee's Wig's." Apostrophe errors are among my biggest pet peeves, and they happen all the time. They're not a surprise, though. Sometimes it can be tricky. And sometimes I can forgive it. Sometimes, sure... if you don't know better, you might slip up and use an apostrophe in a pluralization. But when it's connected to your livelihood? When it's a direct representation of yourself in the world? There are no excuses.

Whoever made Lee's sign got the possession right. But the S in "wigs" doesn't set out to accomplish the same thing. So, then, if the one has an apostrophe, the other should not, right? One S or the other should have an apostrophe, but not both. I think I could accept "Lees Wig's" more easily than this. That at least would show some conviction, rather than this spineless covering of all bases by overpunctuating every S in the sign.

Poor Lee.

How do those signs and awnings get made. Do the shop owners screw up? If so, why don't the sign makers do them a favor and suggest corrections? Or maybe it's the sign maker's fault. And when it arrives, fresh, clean and smelling of plastic and paint, the shop owner thinks: Well... it's close. Why wait longer or shell out for a new sign or?

I had some fun recently spotting some bad signs in New York.

Visible Vote '08

	Click it! [www.visiblevote08.com]

In January 2009, not just the curtains will be replaced at the White House, and I'm counting down the days.

In a shout out to all the gay voters out there (and considering the way the conservatives used us to divide the country four years ago, "gay" and "voter" ought to mean the same thing), Logo launched a new site today called VisibleVote08.com.

It's Logo's home base for GLBT news from the presidential race from now through Election Day. There'll be guest celebrity bloggers and plenty of opportunities for users to comment and participate. You can submit questions to be asked of the candidates at a presidential candidate forum on August 9 all about GLBT issues. (It's not a debate: They will speak alone in turn.) All Democratic and Republican candidates were invited, but it'll be just the Democrats, because the Republicans said they have to wash their hair that night. It's a live broadcast, and it'll stream live on the Web site, so if you don't have Logo, you can still watch!

GLBT folks have a voice, and we gotta use it. We need to hold not only our political enemies, but also our political allies, accountable for the actions they take (or don't take) that directly affect our lives, our families and our basic rights. I hope this will encourage the Democratic candidates to say something real and meaningful to us for once.

In the meantime, check out the guest commentary by Cyndi Lauper!

Love her!

P.S. Mac users can watch, too!

Troubled Waters

	City of Lakes. I was treated to this every day for six years. [Greater Minneapolis Convention and Visitors Association]

Jeff woke me up this morning by telling me that there are still cars in the Mississippi River with bodies inside. It's so, so sad, what happened yesterday.

The video I've seen on TV makes the whole scene look relatively small, I think. That bridge was just a freeway overpass across the river, but it was huge. A crack in the bridge would cause chaos, let alone the whole thing tumbling into the river.

It's cliché, but I can't help but think that I drove across that bridge almost daily for more than six years. It's freaking I-35, after all.

What I remember most, and most endearingly, was the spectacular view of the Minneapolis skyline available crossing southbound on that bridge. In all the years that I saw it, speeding across the Mississippi, I never took it for granted. The sight of it at night, as the creamsicle sun was setting and the lights were beginning to show against the shadows of the city, made me proud to live in such a beautiful place. On winter mornings, with intensely clear skies and air cold enough to suck the breath out of your lungs, clouds of steam not normally visible rose from buildings downtown, and I was happy to belong to a city, my city, that had been radiating defiance against the cold for more than 150 years.

I still don't know for sure that no one I know was hurt or killed yesterday. My fingers remain crossed. My heart and sympathies go out to the folks who will never see that skyline again — and to their families, for whom that view will surely be heavy with memories and meaning.